Thank you for visiting Brandon Whittiker’s official website. If you’ve placed an order for books, merchandise, or limited edition creations, whether surreal, satirical, or snowy, please review the following shipping terms.
Order Processing Time
Orders are typically processed within 2–5 business days after they are placed. Please note that processing times may vary during product launches, sales, or high-volume periods.
Once your order is shipped, you will receive a confirmation email.
Shipping Rates & Delivery Times
We offer shipping to most regions of the US. Rates and delivery times are calculated at checkout based on your shipping location and the selected delivery option.
Estimated delivery times:
- 3–7 business days
Shipping timelines are estimates and may be affected by carrier delays, customs processing, or apocalyptic snowstorms.
Shipping Carriers
We ship through reliable carriers such as:
- USPS
- UPS
- FedEx
- DHL
We may also summon rogue delivery drones or teleportation slugs in extreme narrative cases, but no guarantees.
Shipping Restrictions
- We currently do not ship to P.O. Boxes outside the U.S.
- We do not ship to embargoed countries or regions restricted by U.S. trade laws.
- We are also unable to deliver to alternate timelines, closed circuits, or AI-fortified bunkers.
Lost or Damaged Packages
If your package arrives damaged or goes missing in transit, please contact us at [Insert Contact Email] within 7 days of the delivery date.
Include your order number, a brief description of the issue, and any relevant photos if the item was damaged. We’ll do our best to help you get your stuff back where it belongs.
Questions?
If you have any questions about your order, shipping status, or how Plaro protects his deliveries with firewall sorcery, feel free to reach out:
